salty

http://youtu.be/eAUCHRzY4lI (A little mood music)

The waves come crashing in.  Funny how soothing and gentle they seem from shore. "Rolling" is so often used to describe their movement.  Yet out here they turn vicious.  You try to "roll" with them, try to duck under them, or even attempt to jump above their foaming, stinging heads as they rush at you.  None of it saves you from the salt.  Gets absolutely everywhere.  Taste it, feel it.  Singes your eyes.  Transforms your throat into a burning cauldron.  Irritates the flesh 'till most of your body feels raw.  You are wracked and beaten by the end of your ocean venture and the salt has dried you out. 

Sometimes I think the salt gets into my head as well.  Makes my imagination click into "rabbit-speed."  There is something unavoidably romantic about the ocean.  And no, I do not mean chic flicks or cheesy love stories.  I refer to the classical idea of romance, one to be often found in medieval narratives--heroic or fantastic events; an inclination towards adventure, mystery and  excitement--strange happenings far removed from what we deem ordinary. 

I tend to fantasize over a few stories embedded in my mind as a child.  The first is always mermaids. Sure, I suppose I owe my initial imaginings to Ariel and her incredibly colorful parade of aquatic friends, but numerous other day dreamings swim into my head as well.  Deep, dark tales of half-human, half-fish creatures.  Trapped in a state of in-betweens.  Lullabied by the underwater echoes of orcas at night.  By day, drawn to the light and warmth above them which causes their scales to glisten and shimmer--jewels of the sea.  Where do they come from?  Where do they belong? With salt seasoning my lips, I watch the rippling horizon. I imagine mermaids.  I imagine the longings and satisfactions of one who truly lives life "under the sea."  Danger, beauty, adventure, mysteries... Romance.

The second eerie tale I turn about in my wild thoughts is one I barely remember.  I simply recall watching something as a little girl--a story about a woman that once was a seal. I can remember very little of it, just a short clip, where the woman lies pale and vulnerable on the deadly rocks, her shed seal skin offers no protection from the environment she used to dwell in so naturally.  And a man comes.  He finds her, wraps his coat around her and takes care of her.  Strange occurrences and heroism--Romance.

I like to think that I can relate to both stories in some small way--through the last and most memorable story, the one that my ocean day-dreamings always return to...

"One day He got into a boat with His disciples and He said to them, 'Let us go across...' So they set out, and as they sailed He fell asleep.  And a windstorm came down... they were filling with water and were in danger.  And they went and woke Him, saying, 'Master, Master, we are perishing!'  And He awoke and rebuked the wind and the raging waves, and they ceased, and there was calm.  He said to them, 'Where is your faith?' And they were afraid, and they marveled saying to one another, 'Who then is this, that He commands even winds and water, and they obey Him?'" ~Luke 8:22-25~

I am a helpless woman, once a seal.  For I sinned and fell short, but the grace of my God reaches out to me, covers me.  I have shed the old ways, and though I am vulnerable in the new self, Christ is the man who comes to my rescue.  He finds me.  He takes care of me.

I am a mermaid.  I do not fully belong on this earth, for my destiny and my treasures lie in Heaven.
 
I look out to the rippling horizon again.  The sun is setting now.  My favorite time to be out here.  I like to think that His ship is just beyond the farthest waves I can see, He's coming back in for ME. 

I am the doubting disciple.  Jesus calls to me, "Let us go across!" and in my selfish desire for romance, adventure, excitement, I say "Yes!" and eagerly climb on board. But when the waves come and pound my weak, mortal body and confuse me in my vulnerable state of in-betweens I panic and can only yell one thing--"Master! I am perishing!"  And what does He do?  He rises and calms the waves.

I am left standing in awe, nothing but foam over stilled waters.  And the taste of salt on my lips.